I can't believe

the season finale of Alice, I Think, the TV show, is airing on Sunday on CTV. How the time has flown by. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank every single person involved in the show for doing an amazing job. I am a huge fan of the actors, writers, directors and crew and I send them each a (metaphorical) custom M&M with their name on it. That's how much I love them. I hope you all watch (don't forget to check out the bonus episode at the end).

In other news, I remain busy and well fed. In a strange twist on the rugged camping experience, the camp site we stayed at earlier this month installed a small restaurant, which featured a breakfast buffet. So every morning when James went fishing, I went buffeting. I gained TEN pounds on our camping trip! (This sort of thing doesn't happen to backpackers, unless they are backpacking through an ABC Family Restaurant Wilderness Area.)

To remedy my unfortunate gains, I considered going on a cleanse. But then I decided that would make me all blood sugar-y (code for dizzy and bitchy) and so I decided to design my own weight loss remedy. I call it the Super Burn. It involves working out for at least three hours per day. Super Burn is not for wimps. I have done it twice now and Frank, my unwilling Super Burn partner, is thinking of calling the SPCA to complain.

We run for an hour, swim for half an hour, I ride my bike for half an hour and lift weights for an hour. (Frank gets to sit out the last two activities, so I don't know what he's whining about.) So far I've just gotten quite tired and ravenous. I suspect that my Super Burn program may be short-lived, because it has to compete with revisions to my book and Season 3 of The Wire (the best show on television), but I'll keep you posted. I wonder, if I Super Burned long enough, maybe I could get really cut and then be cast as the new workout-addicted detective on McNulty's team? Nah, Baltimore doesn't seem like a working out kind of town. Also, it's only a matter of time before I injure myself, which means that Super Burn will lead to a new Feeding the Injury plan.

Now Known as...

The Infrequently Updated Blog.

Things have been quite busy around these parts and the TIUB has suffered. Apologies. I know there are those of you who check this with the same eagerness and high expectations you bring to older, more established publications such as the New York Times, the Globe and Mail, and the Wall Street Journal. I blame Jayson Blair for the decline in journalistic standards at Out There/TIUB.

But let's get on with our disorganized and scattered update.

For those of you who wrote and asked why Alice's hair was back to its pre-MacGee-state in the last episode of Alice, I Think, which aired on the Comedy Network last night, the answer is that I don't know. Perhaps it was supposed to be the first or second episode and it got bumped for some reason. And no, the fact that you noticed the hair issue doesn't mean that you should become a continuity editor. It just means you aren't blind. (At least that's what they told me at CTV when I wrote in and asked about it. Ha. Just kidding, CTV!)And hair continuity aside, it was a great episode. My all-time favourite arrest scene.

In other Alice news, I've recently learned at Carly, who plays Alice on the show, may be joining me at Word on the Street in Vancouver, Sept. 24. I'll post more details as I get them.

Another important date to mark in your calenders is September 22. I will be introducing Meg Cabot on her second visit to Vancouver Kidsbooks. Don't miss it: Meg is terrific and she has several great new books out. More details to follow.

Okay, that it for now. If you need a hard news fix between now and the next blog update, I recommend The Times online.

P.S. It took me four days to successfully publish this update. Blogger can be very uncooperative. From now on, I blame Blogger and Jayson Blair for the scarcity of updates.

Making an Impression

Every time I see a Hummer I get this urge. For the longest while I wasn't even sure what the urge was. Did I want to put one of those "Ask me why the planet's heating up!" bumper stickers on it? Did I want to spit on it? Give it dirty looks?

Now, thanks to the folks at:
ihumpedyourhummer.com
I know exactly what that urge was... (Check out particularly the "Call on Me" clip.

Caution: Felicity Spoilers Ahead!

I'm sad to report that Felicity officially jumped the shark last night and did so with a supersonic jetpack. Time travel? Huh? First they basically cut Elena from the show(she just showed up long enough to punch that irritating guy), then they KILLED HER, then there's the whole Ben's kid subplot, then there's the inevitable Felicity and Ben getting back together, then he cheats with a random blonde (the worst kind!) and now time travel? Dang. Even if they knew they were going to get canceled, there was no need to go quite so Fonzie about it.

Finally, thanks to those who've written to say they saw my cameo on Alice, I Think and especially all those who've lied and said how great I was. Love you guys! My favourite response came from some people at the barn where I keep my horse. Robyn, who owns the barn, and Rose, another boarder, came outside on Sunday evening after the show aired on CTV.

"We are late because we had to watch Alice," said Robyn.

"Oh great!" I said, then went silent, waiting for them to issue some sort of compliment.

None was forthcoming, so I said, "So, do you think I'm going to get an Academy Award nomination?" (If no compliment comes naturally, I just ask for one directly. That's just how I roll.)

They looked at each other, clearly confused.

"Uh, sure. Maybe you could get one for writing?" said Robyn, in a tone of voice that suggested I was more likely to get an award from the local branch of the Idiot Society.

"Not for acting?" I said, because I'm nothing if not persistent in my pursuit of the all-important compliment.

"Heh, heh," said Robyn and Rose, who were obviously starting to get a bit nervous being alone with me in the barn.

"I was in the show!" I said.

"No!"

"Yes! I was Customer #2!"

"The woman with the book?"

"Yeah! That was me!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Wow. You were really good. We didn't even recognize you!"

"They had great makeup people," I explained.

Then we all had a good laugh.

Given that response, my guess is that CTV has not been flooded with letters asking that Customer #2 be given a starring role. Sigh. I guess I should have got those diamonds in my teeth like I planned. Then people would have noticed me...