Crow

Have you ever wanted to take a new name? You know, just for a change of pace. I think I might go for "California". Or maybe "Madge".

I once knew a guy named John who announced that in future he wanted to be addressed as "Crow". He wasn't joking. He refused to answer any questions until you called him Crow. This was problematic because no one wanted to call him Crow. Crow is the kind of name that you have to be born with or given in a secret ceremony (unless of course you are a deceased actor related to Bruce Lee, or a large black bird given to sitting on telephone wires). It's not something you can just start calling yourself. And obviously, as names go, it's nowhere near as cool as "California". Anyway, Crow eventually gave up and went back to John. But for a while there, it was very quiet around him.

What is the point of this little anecdote? Well, there is none really. I am not taking a new monicker, even though it would be quite entertaining. (It would be especially fun to ask my publisher to put a sticker with the name "California Juby" over my real name on all my books.) I'm not changing my name or the name of this website. But my marvelous and talented web designer/friend Diane and I will be making some changes to the site over the next little while. So if you find it inoperable now and then, just imagine that it's in its Crow phase and it won't be speaking to you until it gets clear on just who it is.

But What About the Ducks?

The internal dialogues of a jet ski person (JSP) and a person who hates jet skis (PWHJS).

PWHJS: (Standing on the shore among the trees.) Sigh. It's so lovely on Long Lake this time of year. But what's that horrible noise? Damn! It's one of those jerk-off jetskiers.

JSP: (On the water.) Woo hoo! Yeah!

PWHJS: Stupid jetskis are a total menace.

JSP: Yeah! Yeah! Woo hoo!

PWHJS: Oh my god: Is that a mother duck and her ducklings trying to cross the lake?

JSP: I wonder if those babes over there on the dock have noticed me? Good thing I'm not wearing a shirt!

PWHJS: Go mama duck. Swim like the wind! Oh my god. That freaking idiot is going to hit them!

JSP: Hey girls! Look at me! I'm like the Laird Hamilton of Long Lake! Watch me pull this rad 360...

PWHJS: Thank goodness. He turned it just in time to miss the ducklings. I hate jetskis. I hate jetskis.

JSP: ---!! Check this out ladies!

PWHJS: Holy crap! That fool just knocked those little girls off the dock when he swiped it with his stupid jetski. That is just too Kelly and Justin for words. And now he's flipped it over. What an ass.

JSP: Oops. Ooof. I've got it up. Here I go, ladies! Check me out. I'm not wearing a shirt! Yeah! Oh yeah! Woo hoo!