Voyla!

I hope those of you who caught the first episode of Alice, I Think heard "Irma's" excellent pronunciation of the word "Voila!" Just one of the subtle jokes that I loved. I've seen the first three episodes about six times now, and I like them more each time.

The show got an amazing review in the Globe and Mail on Friday, April 26. John Doyle, Canada's premiere TV critic, writes:

"You get to meet new people in the summer TV season, and the first person you really should meet is Alice. ... Based on the books by Susan Juby, Alice, I Think is gently, dopily hilarious and endlessly charming. The comedy is broad and much of the material obviously focuses on the awfulness of teen life in a small town, but it also has moments of inspired, lunatic satire ... The series is impossible to classify. It's a family-oriented series, but its sense of humour is distinctly offbeat. It's not a sitcom, and there's no laugh track, but some bits of humour are clickety-click-slick. In fact, anybody can enjoy it. .. Like Robson Arms, Alice, I Think has a fine sense of whimsy. You'll be glad you met Alice and her family."

I've seen just over half the episodes now, and can't wait to see the rest. For all those of you who had/are having viewing parties, rock on. The spirit of Alice is with you!

A special congratulations to the incredible cast, especially Carly McKillip, Connor Price, Rebecca Northan, Dan Payne, Haig Sutherland, Micheal Ecklund, Ryan Robbins, Lori Triolo and Linda Taylor. They are the funniest group of actors I've seen in a long time. They've each brought something truly wonderful to the characters that used to be confined to the pages of my books.

She's Heeeeerrrreeee....

The T.V. version of Alice, I Think, that is...

Check out the new website: www.aliceithink.com

(I admit I'm a bit weirded out by the blog, which I did not write, but I guess that's what happens when your kids grow up and go into show business.)

I hope you'll all watch tonight on Comedy and if you don't get Comedy, don't worry. Alice will be airing on CTV this fall.

Half-Assed Guide to Getting Ready for Summer!

Soaring temperatures here on the west coast suggest that summer's upon us. That means it's time to start thinking about spring cleaning! So roll up those sleeves (unless it's already so hot where you live that you're wearing sleeveless tanks) and let's get to work.

1. Switch over your wardrobe. I know you're going to enjoy taking off those sweltering woolen socks and trousers and changing into shorts and sandals. If wearing your winter items until nearly June has given them an odour, you can save time by throwing them out. Or donating them to a place that caters to people who wear winter items all year round. (I'm not sure where that is, exactly, but it's best if it's located in an odiferous neighborhood, such as a homeless shelter near a fish plant in Upper Antartica.)

If you haven't worn your winter clothes into smelly disrepair, toss them in a cardboard box. Make sure not to seal it so that you can easily go rooting through it when you find out that you put your favourite T-shirt, the one you wear year-round, in there. Do not label the box because that would take the fun and surprise out of it. Also, if moths get into the winter clothes over the summer, the box makes it quick and handy to throw the clothes out in the fall.

2. Prepare your deck for summer entertaining. That means sweeping around all those items that collect on decks, such as plants and barbecues and large patches of mold. I find the leaves I sweep under pots make handy compost later in the season. So does the decking material itself if you leave the litter there long enough.

3. Stain your deck chairs. As we discovered last year, if you don't stain wooden Adirondack-type chairs they go moldy. My solution: paint right over that mold! That's what I did and it's given our deck chairs a very intriguing appearance. Kind of like one of those home decor paint effects that were so popular a few years ago. Feel free paint right over spider webs and bits of dirt. It just adds interest!

4. Bikini season is upon us. That means getting the old bod ready for display. I like to switch to a salad diet. I recommend Caesar salad with homemade croutons made of ciabatta bread which is fried in olive oil. Sometimes you can just eat the croutons drenched in Caesar dressing and skip the lettuce altogether. Who knew salad could be so good!

5. If your all salad diet doesn't do the job and your body remains less that Victoria's Secret or GQ-worthy, I recommend a wetsuit. That's what I use for my first several swims in the lake near our house. While perfectly tanned youth from the local high school loll about the shoreline in miniscule smidges of fabric, I don the too-tight wet suit, my over-sized goggles and swim fins and take the dog down for a toasty-warm swim. It's not embarrassing at all. Although that time my friend hit me in the face when throwing a stick into the water for the dog to catch wasn't my best moment.

Stay tuned for more half-assed suggestions on how to make the most of your summer. You know, going forward. Oh, and don't forget to watch Alice, I Think May 26th at 8:00 on Comedy! Check here for a sneak peak:

Alice, I Think Teaser

Playing Along on Mother's Day

A phone conversation

Me: Happy mother's day, Mom!

Mom: Thanks.

Me: Did your present arrive?

Mom: No, but I'm sure it will be here soon.

Me: I hope so. It went Express Post.

Mom: And what about you?

Me: ----?

Mom: What did Frank get you?

Me: Ooh! Right. Well, he just walked in with a plate of waffles. Homemade it looks like.

Mom: Awwww.

Me: Yeah, and he's got some fresh-squeezed juice.

Mom: Isn't he a doll?

Me. Yeah. He's thoughtful like that. Oh look! He's laid out some Yummy Chummy fish treats on there, too.

Mom: I guess those are for dessert.

Me: Must be.

Mom: None of those peanut butter mailmen?

Me: No. I guess he couldn't afford them. It's been a slow year for him.

Mom: Digging holes and chasing sticks doesn't pay like it used to?

Me: No. It's all housing construction these days.

Mom: Digging holes is a form of excavation.

Me: Most people want big houses now. Frank's holes don't quite have the scope.

Mom: But they have the depth.

Me: That they do. Maybe he could do sunken living rooms.

Mom: That's a possibility. Definitely something to consider. Anyway, enjoy your waffles.

Me: Thanks. And again, happy mother's day!

My pick for

a new Law & Order spinoff:

NYPDance Crime-Solving the Limber Way!

From Kevin Scott's website www.kevinscottswebsite.com

As if you need an excuse!

Help celebrate the launch of Alice, I Think!

I hereby declare that the first ten people who host an Alice, I Think launch party will receive a set of free books. You'll need to sign up, then send me a description of your event ("Dude, it was so fun. We had Cheesies! PAAAAARTY!") and a photo, as well as your address. Your description and photo may be posted on this website. Provided, of course, that all attendees are clothed. If you're outside the first ten, I'll still post your photo and description.

Alice, I Think airs May 26 at 8:00 on the Comedy Network.

(This contest is limited to people living in Canada, unless you can figure out some way to access the Comedy Network in the U.S., Australia, the U.K., Finland or Indonesia.)

Hmmmm...

This whole Kaavya Viswanathan plagiarism thing really does seem scurvy on several fronts...

New York Observer

A note to Ms. Viswanathan: if you need some material in future, please don't hesitate to plagiarize from one of my books. I could use the massive, world-wide publicity! All jokes aside, hang in there, Kaavya. This nightmare will end eventually and life will go on.

I'm reminded of the Oceanography course I took to get my science credit at university. During the final exam, the T.A. caught a young man copying out answers from a piece of paper he had hidden in his lap. When she demanded that he hand over the evidence he promptly stuck the offending piece of paper in his mouth.

The other T.A. came over and tried to forcibly remove the cheat sheet. Soon the two T.A.s were hanging off the cheater, trying to pry open his teeth. The three combatants ended up ROLLING down the stairs to the front of the classroom. The fight stopped only when a large body-builder type, perhaps experiencing a bit of 'roid rage to go along with his exam anxiety, said he was going to kick all three of their asses if they didn't shut up and let him finish.

The T.A.s got off the cheater, who swallowed the last of his answer sheet before running out of the class.

Now, the cheat sheet eater didn't get a $500,00 advance for his Oceanography exam, nor was he hailed as the hot new thing in Oceanography. But, like Kaavya, he tried to take a shortcut and got nailed. I'd imagine that he was acting alone, unlike Kaavya, who seems to have had several different people, all with a financial stake in the outcome, helping her write her book. The cheater's shame and failure were not covered in every newspaper in the world. I'm not even sure what happened to him, whereas anyone who's been following the Kaavya story knows she's lost her two book deal, her film deal, and her reputation. I hope the cheater from my class went on to be a productive member of society (although he's probably not someone you'd want to consult on matters of Oceanography.) I hope the same for Miss Viswanathan.

Truth to Power

I never thought I could feel sorry for George, but that was before I saw this:

Colbert at White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

(If you don't subscribe to Salon, you'll need to click to get a free site pass to allow you to watch the video).

or try:

http://Thank You Stephen Colbert

I bet the person who booked him is looking for a new job, but at least the rest of us were treated to one of the great comedy moments in recent history. Now I must go and begin my campaign to get Mr. Colbert to come to Canada to have a word with some of our politicians...

In other speaking "truthiness" to power news, I recently overheard the following at the photocopy place:

Customer: "I only wanted one copy of that poster. Why did you make two?"

Clerk: "Hello, I'm a nineteen year-old working in a photocopy centre. What do you expect?"

Heh. I think that girl should send a resume to Stewart and Colbert.